I could not see through my eyes, but rather only see myself, as if from a panning camera's point of view. I was confused, lost even. My environment was cloaked in black, causing whatever may be there to be lost in shadow.
I saw my hands raised to my eyes to look at them, when suddenly my back was arched almost impossibly as my mouth gaped open. My breath was leaving my body. Slowly did it leave, however, giving me time to watch myself crumple from the loss of it. It hissed and weaved when it was exposed to the environment.
No longer was my vision from an observer-like perspective. I stared at my breath leaving, and watched it take colors and forms. I saw a vast array of colors, each one representing a feeling from past memories. I could see images fading out into gray the farther it escaped my body. I felt horrendous pain from the ghastly event, but could feel it too fading away the longer it unfolded. I could sense warmth accompanying the Breath, leaving with it, abandoning my flesh.
When all the colors of the rainbow had faded off into my Shadow Surroundings, when all the warmth my heart could provide had left, I collapsed unto my knees. Slouched over, I stared at the floor, unsure of what to do next. I tried to raise my arms but could no longer feel them. I no longer felt any part of myself.
I crawled for a few minutes, and found a puddle to greet my hands. I lured my face to it, to see the reflection.
I could no longer discern the glint in my eyes. I could no longer figure out if I was looking at a man, or a monster. All I could figure out, was that I wanted my Breath back.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
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maybe the man can no longer figure out if he is looking at himself or a monster because his surroundings are still dark and in shadows. the shadows of his sadness. the shadows of his past. the shadows his mind casts to hurt him.to take him down. but but when the light finds your eyes and sees you reaching for your breath.. maybe a smile is waiting to creep onto your face. a will that has been waiting to emerge. and emerge, it shall. because the man deserves solace. and his solace is in his survival and accomplishing great things.. because the man is meant to.
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